Hitchhiker
“Ran away?” the driver asked.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off but he was kind enough to give me a ride.
I nodded.
“Have you found salvation?” he asked. The speedometer quivered to ninety-five.
“What the fuck…” I reached for the door but his heavy fist collided with my jaw.
“It’s alright, son.” His eyes were vulturine, burning with zeal as he blabbered something about the Lord and lost sheep. “I’ve come to take you home…”
Then I noticed the rosary made of fine hair and deciduous teeth and a shiny plastic crucifix dangling from the rearview mirror.
K.Z. you are enough to give a girl the quivers! Your story is deliciously macabre.
Thank you Patricia 🙂
Well he’s certainly got a ticket to ride this time. Gruesomely good, and I’m left pondering ‘deciduous teeth’. Not a pleasant image. Well done
Thanks Sandra 🙂
Vintage! You like to leave no stone unturned! Your writing is as always like a hurricane – stress hurricane not monsoon..
thanks Pirate. I liked your story as well… can’t post a comment under your story..just wanted to say it made me chuckle, you know, adobo is a Filipino dish. 🙂
Go with this story. Flesh it out, so to speak. It reminds me of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in its brutality!
hi. i did expand the story. it’s now a short story featured in Bones III anthology. 🙂 thanks
K.Z.,
This is a brilliant little nightmare.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
Weird, but a good weird. Haven’t read one of your stories in a while…I missed them!
This is why I’ll never hitchhike anywhere. 🙂 Great story, as always. This would make a good horror movie premise.
Brilliant.
Eek!! I love darker short stories like this..I think it says a lot when a writer can get their reader on the edge of their seats with such few words.
You never fail to amaze me with your fantastical stories! Only your other-worldly brain could go to such horrifyingly, gothic places.
Dark and wonderfully written, as usual. I always look forward to your stories, K.Z.
darn, you don’t have to tell me what would happen next. 😦
Yikes this might be your scariest FF yet!
ugh.
Bad luck, bad karma, and let that be a lesson to all kids.
Never run away…
K.Z., Really scary.
This is a warning against hitchhiking. Well writtten as always. 🙂 —Susan
Dear K.Z.
This is one of your best. Misuse of religion makes my blood run cold. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
There’s a scary future in store for the poor fellow here. Great story!
Nice take on the prompt. Well done, “deciduous teeth” left with that image now 😀
That’s a scary one. It reminded me of so many B horror movies. Nice take on the prompt.
My Breakthrough
This reminds me of that terrible priest in Buffy the Vampire slayer season 6.. there is a scene almost like that.. in that… chilling with that kind of zeal..
I guess we know the destination, don’t we? Reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode, The Hitchhiker. It was based on a radio play and adapted for the show later. I directed a version of it in audio production and performance class (aud-prod-perf). I was the announcer and someone else narrated. What I like about this is you made this one your own. Wonderful, KZ!
This reminds me of…Just joking. 😀 It is a interesting and horrifying take on the prompt. But I am used to expect the unexpected from you. You did well.
He picked the wrong ride. I hope he can make an escape. Scary situation, KZ. Well told!
Note to self: never go hitchhiking, especially if K.Z. is involved.
“His eyes were vulturine”, little descriptive touches like this make your stories stand out. Chilling as always while I wonder whether its safe to take even public transport in your stories.
The fine details of the rosary make this so chilling.
All in the name of “God”.
Well, someone escaped the loony bin. I hope the kid made it out alive
Dear K.Z. Gosh this is creepy and the driver is INSANE – too late and the kid shouldn’t have run away from home. This should be required reading for all teenagers. Really K.Z. this was classic horror! Nan 🙂
Week after week, I read your stories and find myself amazed. You are really good at this KZ! How is the book doing? Clearly, this is your niche!