I sat in my mother’s kitchen, staring at the bouquet of flowers he sent – the vibrant multicolored mishmash taunting me. As I leaned back against my chair, I felt it.. that strong tide of déjà vu… only the sensation was neither sudden nor fleeting. It was more like being caught in a continuous uprising… Waves twirling, undulating… momentarily resting only for me to be held captive by the lingering aftermath. A wreck – that’s exactly what I am. I am every bit as damaged as he is, after his business plummeted to the ground, dragging along with it my dreams of a blissful marriage. He sought comfort in bottle after bottle of that wretched poison. And I, in his beatings. They were unwelcome at first… but later I found, it was my only means of atoning myself… a way to make amends for my uselessness… my inability to help him with his situation. Only in the brink of death do I attempt to escape… only at nights when he’d come so close to killing me that I’d come running back to my mother’s house. But even as I sat there I knew, I was trapped – ensnared in this vicious cycle of fear and pain and guilt and forgiveness. I packed my bags.
A bouquet of flowers… that’s all it takes…
A petal for every pain
Soon do they wither.
It feels like centuries since I last held you in my arms. Everyday, I pass Willoughby’s garden and it brings back fond memories of how we would sneak past the servants to meet there. Not that I need anything to remind me of you… of your lovely face bathed in the moonlight’s incandescent beams… and that kiss that has allowed me to catch a brief glimpse of eternity… However, I’m thankful for the handkerchief you gave me. I swear, Emilia, you were never any good with needlework. How you pass as a lady, I’d never know. But that’s one of the reasons why I love you so. I carry it close to my heart… I need something of yours to keep me warm.
I do believe there is a time and place for us, Emilia. One more understanding… An era more enlightened, free from the shackles of ignorance… A world not governed by the laws that has kept us apart…
A world where we could be.
When that time comes, my soul shall find yours.
My husband still believes that I could be thawed… that perhaps his kisses shall melt my icy exterior. He’s a patient man, but a fool. How is he to have my heart when I have given all to you.
By tongues of oppressive flames
Thawed but never gone.
flowers are always so lovely.. and consider this as a promise from me to you… of more lovely things to be found in my space this 2013 ^^ my way of thanking you for the follows and for keeping me entertained with your brilliant blogs
This week our challenge is to show off a few photographs of Reds and Greens. As tempting as it was, I tried to stay away from anything Christmas-y ^^ Here’s my random collection ^^
Greens and Reds from my jewelry box
green or red? emeralds or rubies, which do you prefer? ^^ they’re my hassle-free gift idea for loved ones this season. it’s brilliant coz they can have it made into any kind of jewelry that they want! ^^ my grandma will be thrilled! ^^
Nature’s Reds and Greens
red roses are my favorite flowers… ^^
Reds and Greens as I prepare dinner… ^^
Lastly, some electrifying Reds and Greens from the deep ^^
the Dancing sea fairies at the manila ocean park… more photos of the jellyfish here and here