Copyright -Jennifer Pendergast
I’ve always wanted to be the popular girl.
But not this way.
They talk about me, forever and ever…
How I got pregnant…
Molested by the janitor…
Had an abortion…
The lies accumulate… every schoolyear.
In a roomful of giggling, gossiping girls,
I feel more invisible than ever.
Even as they talk about me…
How I cut my wrists in the toilet…
Hanged myself from a tree…
Then haunted my tormentors.
Lies.
My tormentors grew up fine.
They probably became your parents.
You cry at the rooftop.
Like I used to…
I whisper soothingly in your ear:
Just one step…
The Eclectic Eccentric 
Dear K.Z.
Although your story has the supernatural edge, it rings true. You’ve given a personality to the taunting voice inside the tortured person’s head. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
thank you 🙂
Love it.
thanks 🙂
Great atmosphere, very creepy. Also a comment on how easy it is for someone to be pushed too far.
yes, sometimes a word is all it takes. thank you for the comment 🙂
Of cousre you do, of course you do! Very neatly told, so much packed in again. Sorry have not been around, will grab reins again.
glad you liked it. hope to see more of you!
Unfortunately, KZ, this is all too real. A great read nonetheless. You’ve given a voice to the silent.
it’s great to see you Carolyn! 🙂 thank you for commenting. yes, i agree, all too real. i’ve been dying to write a story about the ‘ghosts’ that haunt my former school. same ones that haunt every other school everywhere…
Dear K.Z.
Oh, you’re good. Good good good.
Aloha,
Doug
thank you 🙂
Story great. Characterization marvelous. Depressing, most assuredly.
Nice work this week, KZ! Personally, I’d like to see you tackle a children’s story. Think you can do it? I’m issuing a challenge for you. 😉
haha! i don’t know… children’s stories are sooo complicated… you have to be very careful with the characters that you decide to kill. lol
HAHAHAHAHAHA! You win! 🙂
K.Z., Good story as usual. Terrifyingly real feeling. Well done. 🙂 Susan
thanks Susan 🙂
Is the one step so the girl won’t be lonely anymore or because she’s become a tormentor herself? Maybe a bit of both?
you never know with these ghosts. it could be a kind of revenge… or maybe it’s the ghost’s idea of ‘helping’… or maybe she’s just looking for company.
Just one step
But where to turn
Maybe I’ll just sit here
Let it slowly burn…
Even ghosts need friends, someone to chase away that feeling of loneliness. Well done.
thanks 🙂
The way this builds is just fantastic–eerie and suspenseful to the end. You handle the twist very well and it is certainly earned. Chilling and hauntingly beautiful, as I’ve come to expect!
thanks Hannah 🙂
I’ve always wanted to be the popular girl. I feel more invisible than ever. Great contrast here. She is popular – in that horrid stories are being told about her, and she is invisible within those rumors. (Besides the fact she’s dead.) Good story. Kudos, my dear.
thank you 🙂
You build this story expertly, piling horror upon horror. But that’s you I guess. 😉 Well done KZ.
thank you Sandra 🙂
Very haunting. As I assume it was meant to be. I enjoyed this quite a bit.
thank you 🙂
I seriously hope none of your stories are autobiographical 🙂
Awesome
Chillingly brilliant 🙂
I agree with Helen Midgley -she is right on Chillingly brilliant KZ. I just had to interrupt, sorry. Nan
Worthy of a shudder, this one – I can totally see this as the voice of inside the tormented head. Clever stuff
I love how the revenge is such a cold dish.. she could wait one generation.. if she fails there is always the next.. revenge will always come..
Your descriptions were so vivid I saw her ghostly formation whisper into the ear of the young woman perched on the edge.
So good to read someone after my own heart!
thank you Scott. you missed the release of my book! i hope you grab a copy 🙂 would love to get a review from you 🙂
I will look at it. Did you see the kindle version of my collection?
Just bought yours. I will try to get to it soon. Am reading a wonderful post-apocalyptic one now. Mine is on my blog site, left-side, the top pic of the woman with the gun – Keeping watch and Ten Other Terror Tales.
Would enjoy hearing what you think of them as well. You are right, an amazon review would be nice.
was that the carolyn story? i liked that. i’ll check it out. looks like i missed the release of your book as well.lol congrats!
The Carolyn story is one in this collection. I have changed it a bit after have a critique done on it. There are also many of the ones I have already had published as well as quite a few new ones. Again, would love a review from you, but I understand if you don’t due to time or whatever.
I have posted my review of your book (yes, read the entire thing – may not sleep, thank you!). It’s under “Mouve E. Freeke”
Scott
oh wow, you’ve finished it in one sitting! thanks for the very kind review Scott. i hope you’ll revisit the tales when you have time. i’ll definitely read your book. sleep well. 🙂
They were, indeed, insomnia-worthy!
Counseling, KZ, some very good counseling. I hope you NEVER GET IT!
I need counseling? you’re the one who wrote about a school for firemen strippers… lol
Awesome, from the beginning to the wicked turn of the psychological screw at the end. Well done, as always!
Wonderful – I love the lines – my tormentors grew up fine, they probably became your parents – so unexpected. Very clever stuff.
KZ, your stories are always amazing. Always beautiful and always shockingly direct in a dark visual way. This is another to add to your perfect body of work.
Harrowing but so vivid! You left nothing out! Excellent!
Greetings from Greece!
Maria (MM Jaye)
thank you 🙂
Excellent, KZ! This is really chilling, but very real and compelling as well.
Chilling! I took an implication of revenge brought on her tomentor’s children.
Wow KZ, you make me look so inadequate because you have so much talent. This story is primo and I mean it! I don’t think it could be improved on at all. When she whispers to the girl on the ledge, that gives me goosebumps – the real ones! Why doe humans have to be so darn nasty and rude to each other – where is the empathy for mankind? Superb! Awesome! and downright chilling! “The tormentors grew up to be your parents.” The truth, and how ugly it is, “Some awful people made fun of and laughed at a poor girl through no fault of her own. Shame on them All! I think I’ve used enough adjectives but, you get the picture! Nan 🙂
thank you Nan, for the very kind words. yes, i agree, so much nastiness in schools– no matter what country/ era. and sadly, it doesn’t end after graduation either. some adults are really just mean schoolgirls/boys sans the uniform.
Sad tale, great ghost story, well written as always kz
Pupils are taught so much more in schools than is intended by the curriculum, bullying is one of the worst.
Dee
I apologize for not stopping by in a while. I have missed your clever writing and tale is top-notch. The voice in my head is not suicidal, but likes to make me do stupid stuff in public that can be embarrassing. 🙂
This gave me the shivers! Very well done!
I almost had goosebumps! A very well presented take on the picture prompt, indeed! I love reading you 🙂
Great ending – I have missed your stories – lots of meat on the bone!
Deliciously creepy.
I love the way you built this up from a sad and tragic life to the creepy and dark conclusion. Great stuff!
– whispers- You will write another scary and creepy story next week. Deliciously creepy.
Nice horror story. I can picture the scene very well, especially that last bit up on the roof.
Love the short sentences and drip-feed of information. This builds wonderfully, but I wish your ghost was a bit less bitter. Tempting others to end it all is just not nice.