Invisible

Copyright -Jennifer Pendergast

Copyright -Jennifer Pendergast

I’ve always wanted to be the popular girl.

But not this way.

They talk about me, forever and ever…

How I got pregnant…

Molested by the janitor…

Had an abortion…

The lies accumulate… every schoolyear.

In a roomful of giggling, gossiping girls,

I feel more invisible than ever.

Even as they talk about me…

How I cut my wrists in the toilet…

Hanged myself from a tree…

Then haunted my tormentors.

Lies.

My tormentors grew up fine.

They probably became your parents.

You cry at the rooftop.

Like I used to…

I whisper soothingly in your ear:

Just one step…

65 thoughts on “Invisible

  1. Dear K.Z.

    Although your story has the supernatural edge, it rings true. You’ve given a personality to the taunting voice inside the tortured person’s head. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    • it’s great to see you Carolyn!🙂 thank you for commenting. yes, i agree, all too real. i’ve been dying to write a story about the ‘ghosts’ that haunt my former school. same ones that haunt every other school everywhere…

  2. Story great. Characterization marvelous. Depressing, most assuredly.

    Nice work this week, KZ! Personally, I’d like to see you tackle a children’s story. Think you can do it? I’m issuing a challenge for you.😉

    • you never know with these ghosts. it could be a kind of revenge… or maybe it’s the ghost’s idea of ‘helping’… or maybe she’s just looking for company.

  3. The way this builds is just fantastic–eerie and suspenseful to the end. You handle the twist very well and it is certainly earned. Chilling and hauntingly beautiful, as I’ve come to expect!

  4. I’ve always wanted to be the popular girl. I feel more invisible than ever. Great contrast here. She is popular – in that horrid stories are being told about her, and she is invisible within those rumors. (Besides the fact she’s dead.) Good story. Kudos, my dear.

      • Just bought yours. I will try to get to it soon. Am reading a wonderful post-apocalyptic one now. Mine is on my blog site, left-side, the top pic of the woman with the gun – Keeping watch and Ten Other Terror Tales.
        Would enjoy hearing what you think of them as well. You are right, an amazon review would be nice.

        • was that the carolyn story? i liked that. i’ll check it out. looks like i missed the release of your book as well.lol congrats!

          • The Carolyn story is one in this collection. I have changed it a bit after have a critique done on it. There are also many of the ones I have already had published as well as quite a few new ones. Again, would love a review from you, but I understand if you don’t due to time or whatever.
            I have posted my review of your book (yes, read the entire thing – may not sleep, thank you!). It’s under “Mouve E. Freeke”
            Scott

  5. Wow KZ, you make me look so inadequate because you have so much talent. This story is primo and I mean it! I don’t think it could be improved on at all. When she whispers to the girl on the ledge, that gives me goosebumps – the real ones! Why doe humans have to be so darn nasty and rude to each other – where is the empathy for mankind? Superb! Awesome! and downright chilling! “The tormentors grew up to be your parents.” The truth, and how ugly it is, “Some awful people made fun of and laughed at a poor girl through no fault of her own. Shame on them All! I think I’ve used enough adjectives but, you get the picture! Nan 🙂

    • thank you Nan, for the very kind words. yes, i agree, so much nastiness in schools– no matter what country/ era. and sadly, it doesn’t end after graduation either. some adults are really just mean schoolgirls/boys sans the uniform.

  6. Sad tale, great ghost story, well written as always kz
    Pupils are taught so much more in schools than is intended by the curriculum, bullying is one of the worst.
    Dee

  7. I apologize for not stopping by in a while. I have missed your clever writing and tale is top-notch. The voice in my head is not suicidal, but likes to make me do stupid stuff in public that can be embarrassing.🙂

  8. Love the short sentences and drip-feed of information. This builds wonderfully, but I wish your ghost was a bit less bitter. Tempting others to end it all is just not nice.

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