Maura was four when she said the darndest thing.
“You’re so much nicer than my old mommy. She tried to eat me.”
She was my baby. Years of trying and finally, God gave her to me.
It got worse when she refused to go to school, crying, kicking and screaming “I don’t want you to die!”
One day, we were buying groceries. The ground trembled and saltwater seeped in from every corner ‘til it hid my knees.
Maura looked at me sadly, “It’s alright, mommy.”
I watched, throat cauterized, as she shed her skin and let the waves take her.
Oh… quite eerie. Loved the setting and the idea. 🙂
thank you 🙂 i cheated on this one. i got a longer story (similar but not too much) but glad i was able to fit the shopping carts and cram it in a hundred words.
That would be a bit of a shock I can tell you. How sad, I hope she turned into something beautiful.
thanks 🙂 one day, i’ll post a longer version. 100 words isn’t much but i’m glad i got to tell the story somehow.
scary – I´d like to know what happens then, so if there is a longer version – keep me informed!
yup. it’s similar but not completely the same. i’ll keep you updated 🙂 thanks
I loved your enigmatic story. I can save you a word, too. Just use ‘shed’ instead of ‘shed off’. The ‘off’ just naturally goes with the word shed. Very strange and wonderful tale you put together.
thanks Doug… i’ll do that 🙂
Aaahh…vintage kz! Give her a picture,any kind of picture, and she’ll have you jumping out of your pants! You’re right though, this has the makings of a bigger story.
thank you. i wanted to write about a fresh seafood market where you catch the fish yourself but ugh looks like i’m unable to write stories with happy endings 🙂
That was strange and wonderful.
Enigmatic is the right description… weird and wonderful. Well done.
Weird! Enjoyably weird! Love it! 🙂
Deep. I need more than 100 words of that!
Ah… she was a selkie! This is my kind of story, KZ! I look forward to reading the expanded version.
kz, definitely an interesting story with a unique point of view. My only quibble is “cauterized.” While I get the idea, I don’t think that’s quite the right word. Flesh, wounds, and feelings can be cauterized, but I don’t believe a throat would be, at least not in the non-literal sense. Anyway, just my thought. 🙂
Great wee tale.
Reminded AnElephant of selkies and kelpies and such like.
I liked the weirdness of the other mother trying to eat her, set the perfect tone. Well done.
OH KZ. Wow! I love this! I’m trying to figure out what she turned into. Oh what about a mermaid? Maybe mermaid moms eat their kids! Oh this story is so cool! I’m going to remember this one, that’s for sure!
Wonderful tale (Tail) – and the matter of fact of it all. The only part I will ever object to, in your stories, because they always have amazing choice of language and tone – is the word “cauterised”. I found it jarring and not quite the right description for a moment like that, not that I have much experience with such moments. Perhaps she could merely be astounded. If you can merely be astounded that is…
Whoa. Did not see that coming at all. I did not see the fantasy in this, until the final lines. Well done!
Your brain must be on speed. You cranked this one out early. I do have to question Maura’s choice in father material. Genetic testing may be advisable! Ron
I drank some moonshine once that cauterized my throat, so I know it can be done. Hopefully, she turned into some form of sea creature when she shed her skin. I’m afraid I would sprout feathers and turn into a chicken.
I like it! You leave enough unsaid that the reader wants to know more, but not so much that it breaks the story. Great job. I want to read the rest!
KZ you always take the road less traveled. A clever story.
glad she got to be in her real skin.
Wonderful in its fairy tale-esque strangeness. Sounds like Maura has had a tough time — with a mom trying to eat her — but perhaps some freedom with the sea. I took it that she turned into a mermaid, but another commenter mentioned selkie — which I had forgotten about. Either way, it sounds like a freeing transition.
I loved this my dear. It was so damn good. The opening line drew me right in.
Fascinating piece and also touching too. Touches on love, other life forms, and the bizarro. Great job!
Well done, and very intriguing. So YOU 🙂
Strange and scarey. Hang tight to your kids, folks.
Ah I wonder what kind of scaly thing she turned into… great story.
Well done kz, you managed weird, spooky and intriguing in this very unusual tale. A great story, I’m thinking mermaid
Your 100 worders always get me… I think I need lessons!!
That’s a shocker! I really didn’t see it coming at all. Will the narrator survive the flood, or is she about to drown?
nope, her daughter went with the waves to save her 🙂
Wow, what a packed story, kz. I see you may want to make this longer and I can see why. Great tale!
Amazing story, so this is how it’s done! Wonder what she turned into though.
Hmm, didn’t see that coming! Great!
Never had children and now I’m glad I never felt the need to pray for one. It would be very embarrassing and inconvenient to have it shedding its skin in supermarkets and slithering off. Bizarre tale! I hope you get enough sleep at nights. 🙂
Once again, KZ, you hit it and hit it hard. I re-read that thing and I STILL got the shivers. Construction, lyricism, everything works. Good grief, kid, what is it you eat before bedtime anyway? I’d have dreams like the stuff you write about! Haha! 😀
Your writing has come a long way. Be proud.
That would make a great movie. That last line really caught me off guard, but I should have learned by now never to be caught off guard with your stories. 🙂
Halloween appropriate for sure 🙂 wonderfully chilling.
What an imagination you have. Although cauterized took me out. Perhaps slashed or bleeding. Just a suggestion. Another vivid piece.
I pictured a school of fish when I was trying to sort out just what she was. Yes, you need more words!