Friday Fictioneers: 100-words Story Challenge LVII

copyright -Janet Webb

copyright -Janet Webb

Maura was four when she said the darndest thing.

“You’re so much nicer than my old mommy. She tried to eat me.”

She was my baby. Years of trying and finally, God gave her to me.

It got worse when she refused to go to school, crying, kicking and screaming “I don’t want you to die!”

One day, we were buying groceries. The ground trembled and saltwater seeped in from every corner ‘til it hid my knees.

Maura looked at me sadly, “It’s alright, mommy.”

I watched, throat cauterized, as she shed her skin and let the waves take her.

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45 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: 100-words Story Challenge LVII

    • thank you 🙂 i cheated on this one. i got a longer story (similar but not too much) but glad i was able to fit the shopping carts and cram it in a hundred words.

  1. Dear Kz,

    I loved your enigmatic story. I can save you a word, too. Just use ‘shed’ instead of ‘shed off’. The ‘off’ just naturally goes with the word shed. Very strange and wonderful tale you put together.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Aaahh…vintage kz! Give her a picture,any kind of picture, and she’ll have you jumping out of your pants! You’re right though, this has the makings of a bigger story.

    • thank you. i wanted to write about a fresh seafood market where you catch the fish yourself but ugh looks like i’m unable to write stories with happy endings 🙂

  3. kz, definitely an interesting story with a unique point of view. My only quibble is “cauterized.” While I get the idea, I don’t think that’s quite the right word. Flesh, wounds, and feelings can be cauterized, but I don’t believe a throat would be, at least not in the non-literal sense. Anyway, just my thought. 🙂

    janet

  4. OH KZ. Wow! I love this! I’m trying to figure out what she turned into. Oh what about a mermaid? Maybe mermaid moms eat their kids! Oh this story is so cool! I’m going to remember this one, that’s for sure!

  5. Wonderful tale (Tail) – and the matter of fact of it all. The only part I will ever object to, in your stories, because they always have amazing choice of language and tone – is the word “cauterised”. I found it jarring and not quite the right description for a moment like that, not that I have much experience with such moments. Perhaps she could merely be astounded. If you can merely be astounded that is…

  6. I drank some moonshine once that cauterized my throat, so I know it can be done. Hopefully, she turned into some form of sea creature when she shed her skin. I’m afraid I would sprout feathers and turn into a chicken.

  7. Wonderful in its fairy tale-esque strangeness. Sounds like Maura has had a tough time — with a mom trying to eat her — but perhaps some freedom with the sea. I took it that she turned into a mermaid, but another commenter mentioned selkie — which I had forgotten about. Either way, it sounds like a freeing transition.

  8. Never had children and now I’m glad I never felt the need to pray for one. It would be very embarrassing and inconvenient to have it shedding its skin in supermarkets and slithering off. Bizarre tale! I hope you get enough sleep at nights. 🙂

  9. Once again, KZ, you hit it and hit it hard. I re-read that thing and I STILL got the shivers. Construction, lyricism, everything works. Good grief, kid, what is it you eat before bedtime anyway? I’d have dreams like the stuff you write about! Haha! 😀

    Your writing has come a long way. Be proud.

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