The Pests

“Every Friday authors from around the world gather to share their 100 words based on the photo prompt and offer constructive crit and encouragement to each other. This creates a wonderful opportunity for free reading of very fresh fiction! Readers are encouraged to comment as well.”

Copyright -Kent Bonham

Copyright -Kent Bonham

Abriana’s heart jumped to her throat as she felt something skitter past her feet.

She cursed silently.

Though the vintage rococo architecture had managed to maintain some of its elegance through the years, Villa Grimaldi‎ wasn’t what it used to be.

‘Nonna Margherita!’ she complained to the old woman by the balcony, ‘We simply must do something about these pests.’

Their noises made sleep impossible.

The contessa raised delicate eyebrows at her granddaughter then sighed in resignation. ‘Oh, alright!’

The very next morning, all guests had checked out of the hotel, bothered by the haunted sounds.

Abriana savored the silence.

© 2013 K.Z. Morano



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37 thoughts on “The Pests

  1. That was light but enjoyable, kz. Light’s good every so often! To keep everything in the same tense, you might change “Villa Grimaldi‎ isn’t what it used to be” to “wasn’t what it used to be.”

    janet

  2. ‘Light’; yet with a little macabre undertone…
    Not your usual rip em up ‘n eat ’em, kz.. 😉
    I kept looking for the sinister… good to be surprised..! 🙂

  3. Oho! And this is how a beautiful building stays beautiful. Nobody to spill drinks and stain the carpets. A very cool take on the the pic. I liked it.

  4. Ok, I’m dense. Great writing as usual, but It took me a minute to get this one straight. Like wondering, but wait do they still have rats? I did completely miss that Abriana and the Contessa were ghosts on the first try, thinking the grandmother must have called on the household ghosts to get rid of the guests, but what the heck they still have rats all over the place! Then i realized that they were themselves the ghosts and rats were never part of the problem. My dumb. Just letting you know, not to call attention to how brain dead I am by the time the weekend comes around lol, but because I like to get that feedback myself of what came across clearly to people.

  5. Loved your story! Very fun and light hearted: a breath of fresh air in a very doom inspiring prompt. Though, from a glance of others’ comments, you’re usually a cold blooded character killer. Ironic. I appreciated that. 🙂

  6. Great write Kz, a twist of ‘Sixth Sense’ proportion, I read it twice, the 1st time, like Mystikel I thought your characters were in real time, then I read some responses and went back to re-read – cleverly written as you don’t expose the truth to your reader until the end!

  7. I am catching up with reading and you didn’t let me down – as always, KZ! From the very first line I couldn’t decide between goosebumps and shudders, and I like that! 🙂

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