Dear 14 year old KZ,
I miss you! I miss the awesomeness that is you. Ugh, I envy how you have all the time to read all those novels. I know part of the reason why you keep reading them is coz of the sex. Seriously, stop obsessing about sex! Trust me, there’ll come a time when you’re having way too much of it that it’s just gonna be enough to make you sick
or not. ^^ Yes, you were awesome at it; all that “research” paid off. You know what would’ve been cooler though? Maybe you could’ve waited a little longer – just a little bit. ^^ No,no,no you didn’t do the deed up until you were 18 – your plan to wait until your body has “fully matured” went pretty well. However, you did get your cherry popped by a gay guy who was using you as a beard and later on decided he was straight then proceeded to stalk and blackmail you to the ends of the Earth. Ok, girl, each time he tells you he’s gonna kill himself if you leave him, don’t you dare believe him or you’ll end up being saddled with him for 2 years. He’s gonna monopolize you, keep you away from your friends, hunt down every guy who texts you – a colossal waste of your time. Then he’ll turn you into a monster — a verbally abusive, even physically abusive monster and the image of him crying and begging at your feet shall never cease to turn your stomach for years to come. He’ll also make elaborate schemes to sabotage your future relationships. Honestly, kid, I know you love drama but that was way too much, even for you. I sincerely hope I scared the crap out of you.
So, how’s California? You’re 14 and I know you’re probably somewhere in your 6-month vacation to the U.S.. Will you stop being such a weirdo and just enjoy it? You do know your father spent a great deal of money just so you could see freaking Disneyland right? No, your parents weren’t trying to get rid of you, jeez. When you return to the Philippines and your family takes you to this road trip all over Northern Luzon, seriously, stop sulking and wondering about whether there’ll be a McDonald’s on the way. I know you hate travel but believe it or not, you’ll grow to love it – so much. So pick up your damn camera and take photos.
Oh and speaking of Disney, it’s all a lie. There is no such thing as Prince Charming. Don’t believe too much in J. Deveraux either, honey, no white knight is gonna come riding in his white horse to sweep you off your feet and take you to his white castle. I’ll tell you what though, you’ll find a kind, decent, loving man who’ll put up with your OCD and all your other crazy. He’s handsome and sexy too — Score! He’ll catch you just when you’re about to hit the ground. He’ll turn your life around. Yup, you were one step away from turning into a hot mess…out every night to drink your ass off and had your first and unprotected ONS in a parked car. Thank your lucky stars that
he’s clean that night meant so much more to that guy and that he’s been your boyfriend ever since. <3 You got lucky, kid, but I’m telling you that isn’t how it should’ve been. You’re supposed to be smart, not lucky, ok?
Oh and back in high school, just coz your best friend got a boyfriend, doesn’t mean that you also have to; so don’t go out with that womanizing, chain-smoking, coke-snorting vocalist. Brush him off and tell him his band sucks. For some weird reason, you’ll be turned on by more good-looking bad boys and their motorcycles; it’s ok, just please wear a helmet. You’re gonna need your head when you finally decide that the fun’s over and you need to move on.
You’re probably shaking your head right now. I know you think you may be the smartest 14 year old and that you have it all figured out and that you’ll never do anything that you’re gonna regret but honey, you’ll be surprised. People don’t necessarily get smarter as they get older… and you’ll be oh so weak when it comes to love. There ‘ll be plenty of other mistakes and close-call situations but you know what, you’ll pull through. You’re a tough cookie and I’m proud of you.
So after your 15th birthday, that’s the year your mom’s gonna have her nervous breakdown. You’ll feel like your mom has abandoned you and that she’s been replaced by this entirely different person – this stranger. Be strong. Hold her. She’s still your mother – she’ll always be. You’ll have to grow up a lot faster than everyone your age. Everyone’s gonna be oblivious to all your pain. They’re all gonna think that your life is smooth sailing…. but that’s only because you’ll be so good in carrying your burdens. I applaud your courage and how you’ve always kept your head held high. But sweetie, I hope you know that it’s ok to let it out.
Choose your friends wisely. Go for the ones who love you for you. A lot of people are gonna wanna be with you for all the wrong reasons… Just don’t be too trusting. While we’re at it, I want to let you in on a little secret: No one, and I mean NO ONE, is completely confidant.
Oh here’s the important part, when you go to college, choose a course that you love. Don’t listen to your father. It’s your life. Own it.
Your life’s never gonna be normal. You’re never gonna be normal. Well that’s just fine coz normal ain’t special.
I’m not gonna tell you anymore. There’ll be plenty of times when you’ll feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your skinny little shoulders ^^ but sweetie, you’ll live through it all.
14 is a good age. Never mind those zits; you’ll spend a fortune on dermatologists, your face will clear up and before you know it, you’ll be turning a few heads. So sleep well tonight. Yes, your breasts got a little bigger. Hurrah! Took a while, but they did. Umm, yeah, in case you’re wondering, you still look like an eleven year old. But it’s a good thing, you’ll realize that it is.^^
Are you still writing all those dark, melancholic poems in really tiny handwriting? Do me a favor and keep them. You’ll stop writing them, eventually. You’re probably thinking it’s a great thing – coz that means things will be happier… better… brighter. Well I got news for you, sweetie, it is — It always was. It’s just a matter of how you view things, really.
Finally, just enjoy it. You’ll only be 14 once so don’t rush it. Hold on to 14 for as long as you possibly can.
All my love,
Me / You / Whatever
PS Start eating veggies. you know that green stuff that you hate? You’re now putting it in a juicer and drinking it raw. Ha! ^^
green juice recipe here
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